Inertia in Isolation

The pandemic has, and continues to, take me on a wild roller coaster ride. We drove past a local amusement park over the long weekend, and noted how it made us feel to see it shuttered and empty when it would normally be full of families getting in a last thrill ride before school starts. The rides life has taken us on lately are of a different sort and not what most of us would have chosen. They make it hard to focus and finish our projects, as we have trouble imagining tomorrow, given how the universe continues to ripple and shake our old world views.

I remind myself that there has always been uncertainty and forces outside of my control. Honestly, the illusion of control has grown less helpful over the years as experiences erode that fiction in favor of reality and age. And yet, it is like an old and worn blanket that soothes our mind even though it provides little actual shelter, so it is hard to let it go.

Instead, I am learning to move forward despite the unknowns and practicing acceptance of the moment. I have explored many new paths in this time and learned new processes and techniques. I have reflected on my intentions in my art and life, resulting in changes that I am very grateful for. But the time has come to actually start finishing new work as part of acknowledging that I cannot know when or what any new “normal” will emerge like. It is something I can do, and see progress from. There will be many more rounds of picking myself back up when things go awry, but I am learning to laugh and keep going. It is enough.